a mess i never thought I'd have to clean up

We were wrapping up dinner and Audrey was using the potty. Nothing out of the ordinary. Until, she emerged pant-less from the bathroom. She slowly and shyly emerged, leaving wet tracks behind her. Audrey has been potty trained for awhile and it's rare she has an accident this huge. She made eye contact with me but veered towards Jeremy.

 Jeremy: "Audrey why don't you have on pants? Did you get pee on them? "

Audrey: (nods)

Jeremy: Why?

Audrey:  "I was trying to potty like you do Daddy."

If I'd known the mess that waited for me in the bathroom,  I wouldn't have laughed as hard as I did. And then it occured to me the splatter noise I heard while she was in there. Now it all made sense. Jeremy tried not to laugh but I couldn't help it. Maybe it was the 3 hours of interrupted sleep I had last night,  but the fact that my three year old girl just tried to pee while standing and successfully hit her target  cracked me up.

My laughter was short lived, as I walked to the bathroom and saw the lake of urine covering my floor. Curious myself as how she attempted this I asked her.

Audrey: "I just stood there and peed, but the pee got on my panties and then on my pants."

Me: "Did you get any in the toilet?"

Audrey: "A little"

She just couldn't understand why it didn't work. Without going into anatomical differences we had a simple yet precise conversation on our way to the bathtub, on how girls always have to sit down when they potty. My husband was gracious enough to clean the bathroom. (He hates giving baths, and he must, because frankly, I'd pick bath anyday over mopping up urine)

So that is what you missed at dinner this evening. Having two girls, that is a mess I never thought I'd have to clean up.


Sarah