Audrey's Surgery

She rested on two pillows in a big white hospital bed too big for her two year old body.  Dressed in her bright yellow pajamas given her by the Children's Hospital and groggy from the medicine they gave her to calm down, she clutched her baby doll with both arms as they wheeled her down the hall. I heard the nurse say, "let's take a ride lady." My eyes followed her hot pink hair bonnet as my body turned towards the waiting room.  I had picked out the one with cupcakes on it. 

Audrey loves cupcakes.  

I had a flashback to the first time nurses wheeled her away from me, less than 48 hours after her birth. She was screaming that time and there was nothing I could do but agonizingly wait and pray and cry until they brought her back.  The circumstances are much less frightening today and I don't cry. 

Dear God please watch over my little girl

Send angels to protect her and guide the doctors hands
Let the medicine keep her asleep until the procedure is over.

We wait.

Every time I think about it my stomach knots up so tight it aches.  Are we missing something big or just overlooking a simple explanation.  Does she really need to do this? Is it safe?
The "what-if"  demons scream in my head.

Dear God, please give me wisdom and discernment tonight. Am I doing the right thing? How do I calm her fears? As her mother I'm desperate to know what's causing this. 

Those were my thoughts and prayers for a week before I started Audrey on her colonoscopy prep. The Pediatric GI ordered an upper endoscopy and colonoscopy after meeting with us last Thursday. After talking with her pediatrician Monday morning I felt more comfortable doing the procedures to rule out anything significant. I still wasn't comfortable putting her under general anesthesia, nor was her father.

The prep was a lot less intense than I had feared. She was able to drink all day and when she was really hungry I gave her organic gummy bears (don't get me started on what they allow them to have when they are depleting their system of all nutrients). She played outside almost all night with neighbor friends and was exhausted an hour before her bedtime. She had a bath and climbed up on the couch to watch the movie Daddy had brought her. I think she made it 10 minutes before she was asleep.

We waited  for an hour in the lobby that morning, watching other children go and watching their parents return without them. The parents always look lost when they re-enter the waiting room without their child. We tried to keep busy playing at the magnetic sand tables, reading her new Fancy Nancy book, and playing with stickers. (Princess stickers, of course). Audrey found the cushy reading chairs fascinating. How on earth she had the energy to jump and climb all over them when she hadn't had food for over 24 hours amazes me. When our buzzer lit up she grabbed Bitty and started to whimper "I don't want to go, Mommy."

Audrey plays with stickers at one of the magnetic sand tables while we wait

She never fully grasped what was going on even with our attempts to explain it to her. She didn't want to change out of her clothes and she didn't want to pick out a fun colored hair bonnet. She wanted no part of getting her blood pressure taken. Luckily, there are ways around that. She melted down when they just wanted to weigh her and check her height. (For some reason, she's always been scared of the scale, no matter where we are). Poor girl. She kept pleading through tears and sobs "can we go home now?" My heart sank every time I had to tell her no.

She drank every last drop of the "calming" medicine. 30 minutes later, she was calm and peaceful and a little loopy.


She waved to the anestesiologist when he came in to talk to us.  My daughters no dummy-- make friends with the guy who has the drugs! He said they'd gas her to sleep and then put in her IV (thank goodness for that) 


My favorite Audrey moment was after the sleepy medicine had taken effect and she became telepathic.  Unsteady, she tried to sit up. "I can hear Grandma at our house in my ears" she said. She even held up her hand to her ear as if she was trying to hear something.  Intrigued, we asked her what she was hearing, "she's saying, no Baby Allie!" Interestingly enough Grandma fessed up to telling Allie "no" that morning (the first time ever, no doubt) around the time Audrey was intoxicated. Weird? Yup.

Two new nurses came in. It was time to go to the OR. We were allowed to walk with her down the hallway until we reached the waiting room. I told her to have a good nap, rubbed her arm and told her that I loved her. I couldn't reach her forehead or cheek as the bed was too high. Daddy kissed her forehead and told her he loved her. 

Audrey and Bitty, ready to go

I tracked her patient ID number  on the board in the waiting room. I really liked this feature. A digital board tells you where your loved one is in their procedure. At 11:20 am her number on the board turned to blue, she was done!  I waited for ten minutes until I approached the desk and asked the nice lady why they hadn't come to get me yet. The board said she was in PACU, the first of two recovery rooms. I told her I'd be there when she woke up! My stomach churned. Twenty more minutes of me anxiously changing positions in my chair went by until the doctor came out to talk to us. Procedure went well, nothing obviously wrong. Waiting on biopsy results, she did great and should be waking up soon, I hear him say.  He gives us pictures of her colon and small intestine. I suppose I'm thankful, but really, what am I going to do with these? Shortly after noon my waiting ends as I'm allowed to go see her. Life is no longer on hold. 

Audrey woke up great from the anesthesia. When she realized I was there she wanted me to hold her.  They unhooked all her cords so I could rock her until she was awake enough to move into PACU II, the final step before going home! Daddy joined us there. She drank two sippy cups of apple juice (which is a lot for a child her age following a anesthesia) and was happy to eat crackers.  Her baby doll, Bitty also got an IV. They had matching yellow tape. Too cute.


A new baby doll  was waiting in the car for her afterward. She was excited to meet her and hasn't put her down since. She named her "the new baby"

The doctor's office called on Friday with biopsy results. No celiac disease. No colitis. No inflammatory bowel disease. All biopsy's were in the normal range. Bittersweet news. The only answer we have is that  we still haven't found the root of the problem. I know that we will. 


In time. 

Audrey and Bitty, post procedure. See their matching IV's? 

Psalm 27: 14. "Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."

~Sarah