Don't Try, Do.

4 generations; Me, Allie, Grandma, Dad and Audrey

My family visited Grandma, the girls' Great Grandma, today. She is in a nursing home and since our last visit they have moved her to the alzheimer unit. She has congestive heart failure and never leaves her wheelchair. Despite that, she'll still tries to fool you into thinking she's part of the conversation. When my Aunt Linda visited her on a different day she asked my Grandma if she remembered who she was. My Grandma said yes. Then my Aunt asked my Grandma, "What's my name?" And my Grandma responded, "What is it they call you?" Ha! Still trying to not let anyone know she doesn't remember. I don't really know if she's a classic alzheimer patient. She's had dementia for years; Ever since she fell off the work bench and hit her head on the concrete garage floor in the early 90's. (She had been cleaning the garage windows). 

We sat in the piano room and occasionally another patient or two would drift in and sit awhile until a nursing home staff member would usher them back to their room. Whenever someone would walk by she would look at me and ask, "Now who is that?" She honestly thought I might know. I sure didn't. I'm sure she didn't remember me and for sure didn't know my girls. I offered her some of the snack mix I'd brought and somewhere between tasting it and having too much she called me "Suzie." Oddly enough she used to call me this long before she was ever diagnosed with dementia or alzheimers. Perhaps a fluke, but I'll believe that for that one minute she remembered me. 

I love how her long term memory still kicks in and tells us stories. 

We gave her pictures of the girls to hang up in her room. One picture had all of my siblings and their wives on the Cub, the only tangible piece of the Farm that my family still owns. We asked her questions about that tractor and she told us the story of when my Grandpa bought it, all of which I believe was true. And how she told it was hilarious. She of course didn't know he was buying it and he told her to come outside so he could show her something. She asked him "What's that!?" And he told her. She then said, "What's it doing here?" I can just picture her standing in the yard beside the farm house in 1965, in her housedress and apron (possibly pearls) with her arms crossed looking disapprovingly at his new purchase. But that's what I love about my Grandma, she'll tell you what she thinks. 

At least once she said that she was, "happy" and that she had a "nice family." She had a great one liner that day.  I don't remember what we were discussing but when my brother replied, "I'll try" she said, "Don't try, do!" Pretty insightful we thought. 

It will be five years this August since she lost Grandpa. They used to be roommates. A huge picture of him is still hanging on her side of the room, right under the TV where I'm sure she stares at it hours everyday. 

She seemed really sad when we left her that day. She was almost teary eyed as they wheeled her down to the cafeteria to eat supper. It broke my heart when she said, "I guess I don't have a choice of where I go, they've got me in this thing (wheelchair) all the time." We gave her kisses and I said, "Love you Grandma." She said, "Love you too." 

I don't know if my Grandma originated the thought "Don't try, do" or if a worker at the nursing home says that a lot and she simply repeated it. But I thought that sounded exactly like something the "old Grandma"would have said to me. And in honor or her not being able to get up and walk around or be independent, I will no longer try. I will do.

Sarah