32 years

I remember when 30 seemed old.

I turned 32 today. I had a great day, filled love notes from my family, an awesome steak dinner prepared by my husband, and the nicest gesture from a friend. Combine that with two little girls who slept in, one who sang me happy birthday (32 times) and a trip to the salon for new hair and highlights = a pretty good birthday.

The girls and I baked brownies tonight. I love baking in the kitchen and having the girls push a chair up to the counter to help. I love watching them learn as they stir, add and make messes.

I don't like getting old. At 32 I just hope I can hold off the wrinkles for another year and hold all my skin damage from all that frivolous tanning at bay.  The years no longer creep by. My babies get older every second, and I'm trying not to blink.  

I'm 16 weeks pregnant with our third child and and to think at 19 years old, I thought I'd be done  having kids by 25. But at 19 I thought I'd be a hot shot lawyer. There are days I think it would be fun to be a part of a radio show again or be the author of a best selling book, plan events or create amazing photos that make people oooh and ahhhh, but for now I am content being a stay at home mom. It's certainly not boring, and I'll be honest, it's the hardest job ever! It's more than one job, it's like 1,000 rolled into one big job. It's constantly changing and tests my abilities everyday. It doesn't pay worth a darn of course, in terms of monetary reimbursement (although I keep trying to tell my husband that I will take my raise in the form of diamonds.) So, when someone does something nice that requires they took effort out of their day for me, it means a lot. 


This year for my birthday my mother helped my little angels write happy birthday notes and hide them all over the house. My favorite might have been the sidewalk chalk that said, "Happy Birthday Mommy!" written right outside our kitchen door. 


And then, my friend Jessica went out of her way to make me gluten free pumpkin bread. A few days prior,  I had posted on FB that I was totally done with gluten free pumpkin bread. I was venting my frustration that resulted from my third failed attempt at making the best pumpkin bread recipe ever, gluten free. It was heavy, gooey, chewy and at the moment, gross. Ugh! Just the act that she researched online, noted comments from other bakers, went out and bought all new ingredients so hers wouldn't contaminate the bread, completely wiped down her counters, thought to get a new hand towel and dishrag and even bought disposable pans was the most thoughtful birthday gift of the year! And, nope, this bread wasn't chewy or gooey! Finally.


It's been five years since I went gluten free after my celiac diagnosis.  It's still something I'm learning to live with, and without. It's especially hard eating gluten free and healthy when I'm pregnant. The list of what I can eat gets even shorter which can sometimes make me bitter, until I snap out of it and realize there are much worse things. Much worse. 


Planning ahead, managing anxiety, exercising for my heart, not so I can fit into a size 2. Really learning to respect my body and all it can do if I treat it right. Trying to remember in the craziness that is our life to take care of me, so I can be the mom and wife I'm called to be. 


Just a few things I'm doing at the young age of 32. 

Sarah